SNL brutally mocks Pete Hegseth, Donald Trump over Quantico Summit, ‘Our military is gay as hell…’

Saturday Night Live brutally mocked President Donald Trump and Department of War Secretary Pete Hegseth’s historic gathering of all senior military commanders in Quantico last week.

SNL’s Colin Jost lampooned Trump’s crime-fighting strategies and military recruitment standards in the season 51 opening. (X@SarkastikB)

Colin Jost played Department of War Secretary Pete Hegseth in the October 4 premiere of season 51’s cold opening, making light of Hegseth’s speech in which the secretary emphasized new military requirements for personnel’ physical attributes.

“Our military is gay as hell,” Jost began the segment, alluding to Hegseth’s attempts to repeal “woke” measures such as permitting transgender service members or DEI mandates from the military.

“Thanks to failed liberal policies, our Army has never been gayer and yet, it’s also never been fatter,” he said.

“Our military will now have the same rules as any good frat party, no fat chicks,” Jost continued. “And if you’re a fat dude, god damn it, you better be funny as hell.”

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Jost tears into Trump’s plan to deploy National Guard troops

Jost also ridiculed Trump’s continuous attempts to fight crime by deploying National Guard troops to major cities like Chicago, Memphis, and Portland.

“Because in here, from now on, we’re doing Army and Army only, and we will be doing it in one of the bloodiest, war-torn places on the face of the earth. Portland, Oregon,” Jost stated.

A federal court halted Trump’s attempts to deploy National Guard soldiers to Portland on Monday, following the broadcast of the performance.

“In summary, this is the whole meeting, no fuggos, no fatties, no facial hair, no body hair, just hot, shredded, hairless men who are definitely not gay because okay,” Jost said.

James Austin Johnson portrays Trump to slam SNL

James Austin Johnson dressed as the US President then launched into a Trump-style tirade about how much he detested Saturday Night Live.

“Here we are, SNL, season 51 should have called it at 50, right?” Johnson stated. “So sad to see something get old and confused and yet still demand your constant attention. Oh, well, but they better be on their best behavior, otherwise they’ll have to answer to my attack dog at the FCC. Brandon Carr.”

At that moment, a member of the cast who was adorned as Carr entered the frame. Kimmel was taken off the air for a while due to the remarks he made following Charlie Kirk’s murder last month. Within hours of Carr’s warning to act, ABC abruptly canceled the late-night discussion show.